23 April, 2026
Journal

THE ANTI-HOST ISSUE

Gemma Plunkett on hosting less, and better.

Gemma Plunkett on hosting less, and better.

While some may cower at a “Is it okay if we bring a few extra people?” text, Gemma Plunkett revels in it.

We spoke to the writer and recipe developer about what makes a good dinner guest, being an anti-host, and her tips for a stress-free and memorable dinner party.

Q. You cook and entertain a lot. What keeps you doing it?

Well, there are two things I love: cooking and being with friends, so it kind of gives me the best of both. I also love the flexibility of hosting — it can be a quick-ish hour for a coffee and some cake or a dinner that stretches on longer than anyone expected. No one, except for me of course, is going to kick you out, and that only happens when I’m well and truly ready to snooze. I'm also lucky that I live in a city where so many of my friends live; there are always people popping in. It could be a Tuesday night, a Sunday lunch — it doesn't really matter, I’m always cooking for work, so if there is a meal to be had, you might as well come on over.

Q. Do you think we’ve overcomplicated hosting?

Yes, completely. I do think it’s interesting that we call it “entertaining” because it implies that the host is there to put on a show. I think people feel pressure to prove some kind of hosting ability, but I don't think that's what it's all about. It should just be about hanging out, and whether that is with a meal you've spent all day preparing or some takeaway that you've ordered in, it's both valid hosting, and to be honest, the latter is probably going to be much less stressful. I like to set the table, light candles, and make the night feel special, but that's me, and it doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to do that. I think it would be great if people took the pressure off themselves when they have people over and thought of it more as just an excuse to enjoy each other's company, rather than performing for their friends. If there’s a nice bottle of wine, that's a bonus. 

We’ve been talking about the “anti-host”. What does that mean to you?

I think traditional hosting can feel so stiff and formal. I hate this. The anti-host for me happens when everyone relaxes and treats my home like theirs. This could mean helping get dinner on the table, cracking open a bottle of wine, or just settling in on the couch and keeping the conversation flowing. Your friend shouldn't be coming over to be served by you, as if you were a staff member at a restaurant. It should be collaborative fun, with no expectations other than having a good time together. These traditional expectations — that the guest must deep-clean your kitchen or that the host must prepare a three-course meal — are where it all gets a bit boring.

Q. What’s the first thing you’d drop from a “proper” dinner party?

The need for everything to be perfect. You should be doing things because you want to, not because that’s how it should be done. You can, of course, feel a little deflated if something you’ve spent hours cooking doesn't turn out, but also grate some extra cheese on it and have another glass of wine. It’s all going to be fine. Not everything needs to be next-level. A bowl of olives or a bag of chips is my favourite starter snack (maybe grate some cheese on that too), and getting someone to bring a tub of gelato for dessert always hits the spot.

Q. You’ve spoken about borrowing from restaurants at home. What actually translates?

For me, prep is the most important thing when hosting a dinner party. As soon as people arrive, I am so caught up in the excitement of it all that I want to have a drink, sit down, and gasbag; dinner will never really come together unless I have organised myself beforehand. So having everything prepped as much as possible means that when my friends arrive, I can kick back with them and not be flustered in the kitchen trying to do three things at once (which, for me, will end in disaster). It’s still a bit chaotic, and we might not eat till 10 pm, but at least it’s then and not midnight.

Q. What does a good night at your place actually look like? (this is the addition)

The best nights at my place are when everyone is relaxed, and they’re happy to be there. It's a bit silly, it’s loud and we might play some cards at the end of the night. Everyone helps themselves to what they need. The food is yum, but not necessarily perfect, and most importantly, everyone you want to be there is there. The success of a dinner party is less about what’s on the table and more about the people you invite. I’m so lucky, as I have brilliant friends who have never once complained that I’ve been rinsing the same dinner party playlist relentlessly since 2018.

Q. What makes a good guest?

I don’t care about the washing up or what you bring; I care more about people helping carry the chit-chat, sharing good stories, and making an effort with your other friends to have a good time.

Q. One rule for hosting?

Do what you want, not what you should. If you don’t want to mess around with snacks or a dessert, don't. It’s your party, and everyone invited should be grateful, not judgy. If they're the latter, maybe forget to send them an invite.

Q. And one for being a good guest?

Remember that someone has invited you into their home, and that’s pretty special.